by KANCHAN AGARWAL | 23 MAR 2018
In this world, there are all kinds of people. Some are the kind who suffer from an abundance of emotions having no idea what to do with them while there are others who seem to have nothing to do with this vital part of human structure called emotion. Thankfully, there are some who are healthily emotional which means that they can feel them, process them and make productive decisions which lead to a happy life experience. Of course, there is that one category of people who want nothing to do with their emotions themselves and that’s why they are constantly looking for other people whom they can dump their heavy emotional burdens on.
What if the key factor which differentiates the positively inclined people with the negatively inclined people is the way they handle their emotions? What if irrationality has become the norm in our society because we the people are estranged to our feelings for the fear of becoming socially unacceptable? What can be the future of such a society?
What we feel is our business and it is naturally irresponsible of a human to either suppress his emotions or dump them mindlessly on others. Indulging in blame games, holding unreasonable expectations and the tendency to talk about people behind their backs are all symptoms of not being responsible with one’s emotions. When people go through such phases, they develop anxieties, insecurities, hatefulness and unhealthy living habits. Sadly, the classic example of irresponsible emotional behaviour can be seen in many parent-child relationships where parents find children to be the easiest targets to unleash their troubling, tangled emotional wrath on.
Acts of fear and anger are other general examples.
All of this chaos makes me ask: What is the function of emotions in a human’s life — and how should we make the best use of them?
In order to build a healthy, happy and prosperous community, it is required that each individual be mentally and emotionally sound for only then two individuals can have a fruitful interaction together - for unresolved emotions are basically the white noise of the thinking mind and can make us more reactive than responsive. Hence, we need to become consciously responsible for our emotions so that we may have more pleasant social experiences in our lives and also be able to locate our inner peace and the pathways of personal development and empowerment.
How to take responsibility of your emotions:
Know that they are temporary in nature and it is your choice to not let go. Thus, feel okay to feel everything. Let there be no shame, no guilt, no conflicts there! Otherwise, it’s as good as trapping ourselves in our bodies.
Understand and view them only as messengers of the deeper truths of your life and personality. What you are feeling is not your identity. It is only a clue to your identity.
The way we need to handle our emotions is to allow ourselves to feel them, dive into them and process them and finally, let them go when their job is done.
Just the way we need to be careful with what we think, it is important to learn to listen to your emotions. Let them show you what you need, what you want, what you like and
don’t like even if it is in conflict with what you thought you liked or wanted.
Learn to have faith in them and believe in yourself. It will be one of the most valuable gifts you will give yourself.
The ability to separate emotions from the situation you are in and the action which you need to take is a sign of maturity. Hence the more you practise it, the better it will be for your overall growth.
Know who your friends are for they are the ones you can freely share your emotional troubles with, while having the dignity of not expecting them to solve all your problems, as it should be.
We must understand that allowing ourselves to feel and then to express ourselves through our feelings is a healthy way to be selfish. It is, in any circumstance, more important than being polite and nice to people, simply for the sake of maintaining our human dignity.
Feeling, understanding and expressing our emotions instead of getting stuck in their loops and allowing them to rot and mould into something negative, toxic and perhaps even dangerously consequential in nature is the balance we need to achieve in our inner lives. There are many layers to every emotion. We need to pay attention to what lies beneath the surface to discover the hidden truths of our complex nature. Refer to this wheel of emotions to understand the fractal structure of human emotions.
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